Random Howls

wolf moon howl

“… for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.” – Doreene Valiente

Sometimes what we find within is a wound, a need… something that needs to be addressed… something that needs to change so that we can grow and thrive on our journey.

It’s not all about me, or you… it’s about what we choose to do for others that gives meaning to our lives… One of the many things I’ve learned in my time on this earth is the act of giving… As a child it seems counter intuitive when we hear the old saying “It’s better to give than to receive” but it’s true…  in the myriad small things we do for others there is real satisfaction… For me, it’s as simple as making sure that all within my gates and under my welcome are cared for before I rest… hounds, horses and humans…  and if we are favored with friends and family in our home then, even though it requires more effort,  the satisfaction that comes from making sure everyone is fed and sheltered is a greater gift… Not that I am some sort of paragon of virtue or selflessness but doing little things like keeping my home in order so as to be welcoming or preparing a meal for those I care about makes me feel good… Funny thing is, I can’t cook for people I don’t like… Since among other things I am a kitchen witch, there is more to my culinary efforts than just following a recipe… I tend to add my feelings and intentions with the spices… I give a part of me to those who I share it with… the sublime satisfaction of  seeing my gift consumed with joy makes every effort in the preparation worth while… and not just for the humans in my life… there is a wonderful peace in standing next to my horses as they contentedly graze on their hay… arm draped over a back or neck, fingers tangled in their manes… listening and feeling the rhythmic chewing and smelling the heady aroma of horse and hay… nothing beats it… seeing the joy of the hounds at a full dish of food and the sigh of contentment when sated, they circle around thrice before  happily plopping down next to me… Checking on the ponies, and making sure all is neat and secure in my small corner of the world at the end of the day makes it easier for me to rest each night…  In Maslow’s hierarchy, food and shelter, security so to speak, are a large part of the foundation for a self actualized life…  If, while under my roof, I can provide this simple gift to others than for me it is indeed better to give because of the good things I receive…

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana…

In order to be part of a strong relationship each person needs to be strong… that means taking care to ensure our needs are met… only then can we meet the needs of the other in the partnership… if we are not involved with those that help us grow and nurture us as individuals we are destroying ourselves… Love has nothing to do with it… Period. You can love someone with all your heart but if they are not meeting your basic needs then that relationship will destroy you… I am a fairly strong person but my strength was hard won many years ago and I will not let myself be beaten down to become a pathetic cog in a broken machine…  Steel is malleable, it can be bent and with an effort re-straightened… however,  bend it enough in the same place and it will break…

Growing old is optional… Growing up is not.  I would like to think that I am still growing up… reaching for my dreams and although my body is aging, my spirit is as young as ever… I may be getting long in the tooth but I have found that because I can now look further back I see clearer into the future…  I know less than I once thought I did because I understand that there is so much more to learn… I don’t have all the answers and I’m not always right and it’s good to ask others and to truly listen to their reply… I am not perfect … and that’s O.K.

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” – D.H. Lawrence